By Everett Burris
Assistant Sports Editor
Stories of week four of the Retriever Weekly league include injuries, byes, and only one team left undefeated. Also one team who scored an impressive amount of points, but still lost because of an unbelievable amount of points they were defeated by.
Mcpoyle’s Revenge vs. Ibrahim Moizoos
Moizoos took advantage of the Mcpoyle’s managing faux pas to obtain the victory. With wide receiver Michael Floyd and the New England Patriots Defense on bye week the Mcpoyle’s fell short scoring a pathetic 68.08 points. It didn’t help that the highest scorer, Aaron Rogers (28.88pts), was left on the bench for the Mcpoyle’s. For Moizoos each player performed to there projected point quota, and Randle Corn-off-the Cobb played 11 points higher than expected. As this goes to print there are no other players left to play, so baring a comeback of Jesus proportions its pretty safe to say the Mcpoyle’s will have there first loss after tonight.
Breaking Newbs vs. Nathans Crazy Team
Fantasy manifesto declaration #22 : “If one scores 54.48 points as a total one should not win his fantasy game.” The Breaking Newbs shattered that manifestation and won against a Nathans Crazy Team who managed poorly this week leaving half of his starting line-up in when they were off for the week. The Carolina Panthers experienced the definition of what the youngsters might describe as getting “turnt-up on”, allowing 35 plus points which in turn gave them negative four points in the fantasy points. Nathans Crazy Team only put up 41.72 points. Fantasy manifesto declaration #1:“If one scores under 45.00 points, one should be banned from league.” Nathan, the manifesto has spoken.
UMBC’s BCS Hopes vs. Tech Section Flexion
UMBC’s BCS Hopes with a win! Against Tech Section Flexion who had Tom Brady who clearly had other things on his mind during the game (i.e. why his UGGs are calf high and not the low tops he asked for) and scored only 6.36 of his projected 17.01 points. The real story here is how UMBC’s BCS hopes actually lost in this win because now they have ruined the best metta joke of all time, and to add insult to injury they probably won’t win many more games.
Subs Squad vs. The Tech Department
Unbelievable. Coming into this week Subs Squad was still on the hunt to get the first victory of their season. Coming down the home stretch if one were to look at the exceptional performances of Subs players including Kicker Nick Novak with 15 points, one would have thought it was a lock for Subs Squad to get the win. Until one looked at The Tech Department’s 163.02 points! Those numbers are capitalized incase you were wondering. Everybody on The Tech Department’s starting line-up exceeding expectations led by Andrew Luck who put up 30.62 points, the highest scoring quarterback in the league this week. What is even crazier is that this could have been much worse if Minnesota running back Matt Asiata had been in the starting lineup to add his 28 points.