Beyoncé-Mania

Quadmania represents a time for all UMBC Retrievers to come together, take a study break, enjoy carnival rides and go to the RAC to see some of the best musicians of our time. For Quadmania 2019, UMBC has outdone themselves: they got Beyoncé.

For those who don’t know anything about Beyoncé, a few UMBC students gave a quick description of the artist. “She’s a goddess,” shrugged Don T. Believeit, a senior mechanical engineering major. He elaborated: “Beyoncé changed my life. She truly did. I don’t know what I would do without ‘Bootylicious’… I just don’t know.”

While there are some Beyoncé-enthusiasts on campus, there are also naysayers. Nat Real, a freshman philosophy major, claims she can’t believe the hype. “Beyoncé,” she said, taking a drag of her cigarette, “I haven’t heard that name in years.” Real thinks that bringing Beyoncé to campus is “a hoax devised by the Retriever Weekly to capture more readers.”

In order to secure the deposit for the megastar to perform for us, UMBC plans to increase undergraduate tuition by 45 percent, graduate tuition by 53 percent and cut the salary of untenured and affiliate professors by 30 percent. When asked about the potential backlash the university administrators might face, a representative of UMBC responded, “it’s for the greater good.” An intern in the financial aid office said, “Beyoncé is the greatest good we’ll ever get.”

While the university plans on hiking up the cost of tuition, they hope to break even with profits. Instead of hosting the concert in the usual venue, the RAC, Beyoncé will perform in the Event Center. This allows more community members to come to campus and revel in UMBC’s grit and greatness. “It’s truly the opportunity of a lifetime,” smiled Li Ying, a sophomore studying political science.

Tickets are expected to start at $330 for pre-sale and $380 for regular price. When asked to comment on the higher than usual prices, student leaders neglected to respond. One student has been forthright with their opinions. Junior biochemistry major Sarah M. Adeup says, “this is ridiculous. I don’t have Beyoncé money. UMBC obviously doesn’t have Beyoncé money. Who asked for this?”

Apparently, a UMBC official who asked to remain anonymous, is a fan of Beyoncé. F. Alse, an intern in the UMBC Division of Administration and Finance, let it slip that “someone whose name rhymes with ‘Beeman Wazowski’ is a member of the Beyhive.” The “Beyhive” is the name of Beyoncé’s fan-base. “His ringtone is Beyoncé’s ‘Formation,’” Alse said.

While the prospect of the concert has received mixed reviews, everyone the Retriever spoke to seemed generally impressed with the grandness of the chosen artist. Yuwem Beecie, a junior psychology student, speculated, “maybe UMBC is still riding the NCAA tournament high … this just doesn’t make any financial sense.”

Whether you are a Retriever Believer, member of the Beyhive or a student looking for weekend plans, Quadmania 2019 has activities for you. Swing by the carnival on Saturday, April 20 and don’t miss the highly anticipated concert on Sunday, April 21. Tickets go on sale Feb. 29, 2019.