-
Women’s basketball introduces new Head Coach - 2019-04-30
-
OCA Mocha and Retriever Music Society expand the cultural horizons of UMBC - 1 day ago
-
The case for political apathy - 2019-12-04
-
UMBC across the sea: thoughts on Brexit - 2019-12-04
-
The Daily and the caveats of student reporting: A response to Northwestern’s student newspaper controversy - 2019-12-04
-
Continue to publicly shame the Republican party - 2019-12-04
-
UMBC alumna stars in new Netflix series - 2019-12-04
-
Beach Bunny makes the broken heart flutter - 2019-12-04
-
We can rethink criminal justice - 2019-12-04
-
SGA Senator links UMBC to Arbutus businesses - 2019-12-04
-
“Girls on a Dirt Pile” unearths the origins of a patriarchal society - 2019-12-04
An Ode to UMBC
Happy April Fools’ Day! You are reading an article written for our April Fools’ edition of the newspaper, The Deceiver. This is a work of satire.
Only some roses are red
Violets are technically not blue
I cannot get out of bed
And STEM majors are too neurotic for you
Humanities kids are always high
But at least they are way more chill
Tinder on campus makes me want to cry
And the boys you want to like you never will
Literally everyone wears sweatshirts
And the library is for snobs
The amount of reading I have to do hurts
The LARPers have turned into a mob
There is barely any vegetarian food
I have eaten the same meals every which way
I do not think I am going crazy, dude
But I saw the moon yesterday
Signed,
Every Dumbass Student