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Fantasy Football Week 5 Update

By Everett Burris

Assistant Sports Editor

Management, management, management. If one does not manage one will fail in life and, more importantly, Fantasy Football. Some of the owners learned that the hard way this week and failed miserably.

Mcpoyle’s Revenge vs. The Tech Department

Mcpoyle’s Revenge, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! For the second week in a row the owner has shown his roster negligence that is worthy of a call to child protective services and it has doomed his chances of winning yet again. Multiple injured players in the starting lineup is not a good place to start. The Mcpoyle’s also left Demaryius Thomas, their best wide-out and top score,r on the bench with 34.60 points. Who got to play instead? Michael Floyd with .70 points. The Arizona Cardinals watergirl had more fantasy value this past week. Not that The Tech Department failed to perform. All starters performed above projected points lead by Matt Forte and Demarco Murray having stellar games. As this article goes to print The Tech Department is leading Mcpoyle’s Revenge 119.48 – 67.50. The Tech Department will improve to 4-1 unless Kirk Cousins puts up Madden 93 numbers tonight against the Seahawks. The Tech Department is looking like the best picked team right now while Mcpoyle’s Revenge may actually have to start the Arizona Cardinals’ watergirl next week due to all the injuries amassed on the teams roster.

Breaking Newbs vs. Ibrahim Moizoos

The Breaking Newbs are cruising on easy street right now with no worries in sight. Peyton Manning got bored so he went and found a record and decided to break it this week. The New England kicker Stephen Gostkowski put up more points than many other team’s quarterbacks with 21 points. Everyone on this team only knows how to exceed projections. To be fair Moizoos squad had some severe under performances like Chicago Bears tight end Martellus Bennett only scoring 1.70 points. But the way things are trending for the Breaking Newbs it may be that no one in the for seeable future that can stop the momentum they have, especially with Manning finding his groove. As this article goes to print the Newbs are up 112 – 84 and it doesn’t look like they will be giving up the lead anytime soon.

UMBC’s BCS Hopes vs. Nathan’s Crazy Team

In the battle for mediocrity it looks like Nathans Crazy Team will prevail against UMBC’s BCS Hopes. UMBC’s BCS Hopes are back in their comfort zone, losing and losing bad. All players for this team underperformed except for the San Diego Defense. Nathan’s Crazy Team’s Carolina Panther defense also helped lead the charge this week scoring 18 points, an extremely impressive showing for an otherwise average defense. Arizona Cardinal running back Andre Ellington had a great outing giving Nathan’s Crazy Team 26.40 points, although he still has nothing on the water girl. Nathans Crazy Team leads UMBC’s BCS Hopes 102.54 – 63.92. ‘Hopes still has Marshawn Lynch to play tonight, but Marshawn Lynch may have to literally turn into a beast or something un-human against the Redskins to put up the 40 points needed for the comeback.

Sub’s Squad vs. Tech Section Flexion

Sub’s Squad is reeling right now after coming relatively close only to fall short of the victory yet again. Sub’s Squad had the win in the projected numbers but flat performances by running backs C.J. Spiller and Zach Stacy and his usually stellar tight end Jimmy Graham left Subs Squad in the winless column for another week. Tech Section Flexion will pick up their second win of the season and will look to pile up some style points as DeSean Jackson is still set to suite up for them tonight at wideout. As this article goes to print the score is 95.08 – 87.52 Tech Sections Flexion’s way.