Happy April Fools’ Day! You are reading an article written for our April Fools’ edition of the newspaper, The Deceiver. This is a work of satire.
Only some roses are red
Violets are technically not blue
I cannot get out of bed
And STEM majors are too neurotic for you
Humanities kids are always high
But at least they are way more chill
Tinder on campus makes me want to cry
And the boys you want to like you never will
Literally everyone wears sweatshirts
And the library is for snobs
The amount of reading I have to do hurts
The LARPers have turned into a mob
There is barely any vegetarian food
I have eaten the same meals every which way
I do not think I am going crazy, dude
But I saw the moon yesterday
Signed,
Every Dumbass Student
